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Translated by Ollie Richardson & Angelina Siard

20:55:39
04/09/2016

spartanofear.com

When I passed Sparta training in Kiev, it entered into my TOP known training programs. I didn’t stop, and passed Sparta once again as captain, again being convinced that it is an incredibly strong product.

And suddenly I received an offer: this training has logical continuation, the second stage of Sparta PRO. This time it’s not about physical surplus loads and the departure of the rocket very far from the atmosphere of your comfort zone to another galaxy. This training is psychological, with a bias in leadership, team work, and expansion of outlook. Training in Moscow. I’m going to Moscow.

Those who know me, there is no need to describe my civilian, political, and patriotic stance, about how I was engaged on Maidan, what kind of songs I wrote, and the kind of videos I made, what kind of interview I gave, and so on.

I was sure that directly on border I will be taken from the car and brought to the FSB. I was sure that even if I pass the border, someone will call FSB during training, or will simply I would be cruelly beaten.

Border. I passed.

I arrived in Moscow by Troparevo’s subway (analog of the subway of Svyatoshino): it is clean, arranged, accurate. I came into the cart: clean, orderly. I ask how to reach another station: I received a polite, cultured answer. I started to become tense…

First 3 minutes of training: there are 50 people in the hall from different cities of Russia, 80% men. I’m second to represent myself: “I am Ivan Buyan from Kiev, a nationalist, Maidan protester, patriot of Ukraine…” In my head I thought: “It’s over. Now I will be f****d”. There was nothing of the sort! People look at me with interest, ask me questions. Several pairs of eyes from fifty look at me angrily. I was still waiting for the moment when they will “start” to tear me apart. But they didn’t. I’m thinking: “Probably, they will do it during the break”. They approached me, we spoke… I was as tense as a high voltage cable, keeping in my pocket a sharpened screw-driver. Quietly talked, parted ways. Strange.

Training proceeds, I am aggressively fighting for leadership: all the time I am the first everywhere, I climb on the scene, I catch the initiative, I organize people and processes, expressing my ideas… And I DON’T FEEL ANY “SPECIAL” TREATMENT FROM THEM TOWARDS ME! I’m simply part of the team. And they treat me exactly as they do with other Russian participants. I’m going to scan, to scrutinise their eyes for any hints of hostility. There are so few that it is nearly zero. And it is like that all day. At the end of the first day: “Do you have somewhere to spend the night? Do you want me to give you a lift? Are you hungry?”…

What?… Where are those spiteful Katsaps [Ukrainian pejorative word for Russians – ed] with a pitchfork, which will tear open my stomach and throw me dead to the pigs?

I am going home by the subway, I selectively approach people: “Good afternoon, I am from Kiev, how do you treat Ukrainians here?”. More than twenty approaches and no negatives. “The fraternal people, it’s a pity that such occurs there”, “We love Ukrainians”, “We don’t love those who doesn’t love us”, “We sympathize”, “But we treat them normally, and what?”… I chose people who looked “more rigid” …

During the second and third day I discussed questions of war and so on. All was constructive, reasoned, and without excess emotions. Where are those beasts that whine in Kiselyov’s studio and in the news on NTV? They in general exist? The vast majority of people try to let to me know with their look, words, acts, their sympathy, thereby speaking: “We treat you kindly”.

For the third day plays Elza’s Ocean “Embrace me” [pro-Ukraine song and film made after Maidan – ed]. Center of Moscow …

Fourth day: voting for 3 of the “most worthy”, which occurs very “specifically” and nobody without being convinced gives their voice.

  • 9 voices – the Russian athlete of two-meter height with a voice like a steamship, a strong leader!
  • 8 voices – are for me (in the center of Moscow!!!).
  • 7 voices – the athlete with less height, but super-charismatic, driven, clever.

I wanted to disappear off the face of the Earth… Before I wished death to them, and they are voting for me, saying good words about me …

More and more often I catch myself thinking that I had misunderstood something…

I discarded the screw-driver from my pocket on the second day. Somehow I felt shame to look at people in the face. Because I wanted death for them, evil, I hated them with all my heart. In Kiev I was slashing the tyres of cars with Russian number-plates, and approached and demanded to see “clarification of ID”, I was rude…

How it is shameful and silly.

On the fourth day of training I said goodbye to people, to each of whom I could entrust something valuable to me in their possession. They are remarkable good, kind people with open warm hearts. And nobody from those fifty people feels this hatred to Ukrainians that was felt when I left for Moscow…

I have a question: and why me, so clever, but who hadn’t even spoken with any Russian, drew a conclusion and believed that all of them hate us? I saw a beautiful clean city with beautiful roads in which police officers behave expressly politely, people are kind, and the air is very similar to ours. In 6 days I didn’t see anything that at least hinted to me about Russians’ hatred to Ukrainians. On the contrary: I saw desire to TALK and UNDERSTAND.

My conclusion: there is no conflict between nations. It is someone’s very devious and cynical political game, as a result of which a lot of people died, and two nations lost friendship.

But it is also ordinary people who carry their contribution in this. Those like me who are ready to drop a nuclear bomb on Moscow, even without having talked to her inhabitants. It is especially because of such limited brainless cretins that wars occur.

I apologize, I am full of shame…

50 brothers and sisters appeared before me in Russia.
I Hug you!
I invite you to visit me… also I promise that I will tell this story to many.

P.S. Sparta PRO training in itself is an explosion, a high, tears, pleasure, and reactive growth!

And many thanks to Anton Britva and Edgar Novopashin for such a rich, bright, and effective product.

Anyone who is interested to develop and improve themselves, must be there!

Any questions, write to me – I will answer.
Hugs!

Ivan Buyan
Photo from personal archive

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